Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
