It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
