I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
