Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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