Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
