I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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