STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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