If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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