VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
