your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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