Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
