Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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