We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
