i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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