we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
