I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
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His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
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Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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