your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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