Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Is it because I queefed?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
