It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize