4 words: hood of his car
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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