just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
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Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
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Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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