Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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