you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
