If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize