waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
