Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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