Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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