Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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