I'd wear matching sweaters with you
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize