So drunk its hurt
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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