sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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