I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
