Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
