so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
