You're a womanizer and a bitch.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
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I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
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Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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