what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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