Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
