I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
