Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
