It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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