Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
