Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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