Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
