...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
two words...techno handjob
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
