Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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