Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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