I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
