The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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