hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i dont even know how to be here
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
