I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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