It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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