I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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