worst night to have a conscience
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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