Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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