I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
